I Am A Child of God

If anyone is paying attention, obviously I have not been posting for a while. But as I'm coming up on my 3 year cancerversary, there's a lot on my mind and I remembered that I have a place to get these thoughts out :)

I really love worship music. A lot of songs are straight out of the bible, so it's like an easy way to remember God's love and promises. If you grew up in church, maybe you memorized scriptures in Sunday School, and maybe you still memorize them. Of course I think it's a great thing to hide God's word in our hearts, but sometimes I get bogged down in trying to remember a verse word for word, when really it's the meaning behind the verse that matters. The best example of this is Philippians 4:6-7. This is one of my favorites, but for the life of me, I can never remember it word for word. But I don't really have to, because I can remember the meaning behind it: Don't worry about anything, but instead pray to God with a thankful heart and God will give you a peace that passes all understanding.

Anyway, back to my point for today. I am really thankful for my church for many many reasons, but one of the reasons is learning new worship songs. (My last post was actually about another song I learned there). A new favorite is No Longer Slaves. The chorus goes, "I'm no longer a slave to fear, I am a child of God", and sometimes I literally just repeat that phrase over and over again to myself, hoping that I will actually live it out. Today I have seen several different scriptures and devotions related to fear (on Facebook of all things, so social media actually does have a positive side to it, depending on who you friend/follow!), and I feel like God is trying to tell me something. I think most of us live in fear to some degree, myself included. After all, there are so many things out there to fear: financial failure, health problems, losing those we love, not being good enough, terrorism, running into an ex when we look awful, divorce, having or not having children, and the list goes on and on, big and small, petty and serious, there is so much to fear. 

But we don't have to be slaves to fear if we are children of God. It doesn't mean the fear won't be there, it just means we aren't slaves to it. We don't let it run our lives, we don't make decisions out of fear. We look it in the face and tell our fears how big our God is and we look to Him to lead and guide us. 

I don't know what it's called when a song has something different at the end that's not another verse or the chorus, according to Google it may be a bridge or a coda, but I'm going to hope you know what I mean. A lot of worship songs do this, and at the end of No Longer Slaves, there's a bridge/coda/whatever that goes, "You split the sea so I could walk right through it, my fears are drowned in perfect love; You rescued me and I will stand and sing, I am a child of God". I was listening to this song for maybe the 100th or so time the other night, when I really thought about those words. Maybe God doesn't literally split seas these days, so we can walk through on dry ground. But how many times has He metaphorically split the sea for us? Removed obstacles just when we need it, and allowed us to walk right through a tough situation? How many times have we been facing something we know we can't handle, and come through the other side stronger than ever? God still works miracles in 2015, just like He did for Moses. He still splits the sea so we can walk right through it, and if we give our fears to Him, He will drown them in perfect love. 

We truly are no longer slaves to fear if we will put our faith and trust in Him.

Not For A Moment

I've recently learned a new song in church called Not for a Moment, and after hearing it for the second time, decided to buy it. I have fallen in love with the song, especially the line "Not for a moment did You forsake me". It humbles me to know that my God will never leave me or forsake me, no matter what. When things are good or bad, when I wander away, He is ALWAYS there. 

Today (Oct 30th) marks 2 years since I started immunotherapy, predictive text just reminded me it's called my immunoversary :). I've been thinking about it a lot today and every time I do, I'm just overwhelmed with a feeling of gratefulness that 2 years later, I'm, well, Healthy, Fit and Cancerfree as my blog title now reads! And I know that not for moment did my Savior forsake me, He was with me through all of it, and everything else I've ever been through. All I had to do was call on Him. 

Obviously I'm extremely happy with the outcome I've had so far, but I have the comfort of knowing that my God will be with me no matter what, and whatever life brings me, I can and will overcome anything. Knowing that helps me to stop stressing over what could be and enjoy what I have now. It is an amazing feeling to know that the Creator of the universe loves me even when I'm not lovable, forgives me even though I don't deserve it, and gives me super human strength right when I need it. 

And Not For A Moment, will He forsake me. 

Marine Corps Half Marathon

I have a bad habit of running in races without being prepared for them. Like 2 years ago when I ran the Marine Corps Half Marathon after having surgery 2 months beforehand, and then starting radiation, so I hadn't been able to run except for the week before. This past weekend was one of those times. Fortunately, my lack of training wasn't due to surgery or anything like that, but I've had some issues with my IT band on my right side, and after running 5-6 miles, I had a bad pain from my right hip to my knee. I've rolled on the foam roller and stretched it, but the only way to know if it was better was to run long distance. My friends and I were running this race in memory of our friend who passed away earlier this year, so I felt like I really needed to do it if I was able to at all. So, I figured the worst that could happen is that I would have to walk a lot more than I wanted to, and I spent the week carbing up, and drinking lots of water, and went for it. It ended up being one of my better runs! One of my friends stayed with me for the first 6-7 miles, and that really helped, but she got a little faster and I got a little slower. Still, the miles seemed to fly by, and before I knew it I was done! My average pace was just under a 12 minute mile, which is slow but better than I expected. I think being very prepared as far as my diet and hydration really helped. 

Overall it was a great day with great weather and after the race we went to my friend's house for a cookout and to celebrate the life of Kevin Rayburn, who will always be missed by those who knew him. He was not one to let life pass him by, and was always up to something fun, whether working out, running distance runs or obstacle courses, camping, watching Nascar races, or just hanging out with friends. He always had a smile on his face and was an all around great guy, who loved his wife dearly and had a great group of family and friends. Remember that none of us are guaranteed tomorrow, so appreciate those you love today!

Clockwise from top left: My friend Paulette and I at the finish; 

a view of the river from mile 11.5; one of the tanks leaving the race site; 

finisher's medal; tanks and their police escorts - it slowed down my ride home, 

but was really cool!; the evil ramp at mile 11 - and I liked that guy's shirt, ours last year 

said something similar; our muddy shoes from the muddy finish line - I always sprint in to finish a race 

and couldn't this time - I was mad! :)

Back of the shirts Kevin's wife had custom made for us

Pumpkin Oatmeal Muffins

First of all, I know I need lessons on food photography - sorry! But I love these oatmeal muffins and wanted to share the recipe, especially since they are a great make-ahead snack, and can be frozen for later. I adapted my recipe from Sugar Free Mom (she has all kinds of variations, and is a way better food photographer :) ). The recipe is so easily adaptable depending on your personal tastes and what you have on hand. Here is the recipe that I go with most often:

2 1/2 c. oats
1/4 c. ground flax seed
2-4 packets of Stevia (or whatever sweetener you’d like to use)
¾ tsp cinnamon
¾ tsp nutmeg
½ tsp ground cloves
1 ½ tsp baking powder
½ tsp salt
1 c. canned pumpkin
1 c. milk (I use unsweetened vanilla almond milk, which has greatly improved my diet life!)
1 tsp vanilla extract
2 oz pumpkin seeds

Splenda Brown Sugar for sprinkling on top before baking (optional)

I mix together all dry ingredients (except pumpkin seeds), then add wet ingredients and stir together until blended, and then stir in pumpkin seeds.

Makes 12 regular size muffins, or 24 mini muffins. Bake at 350 for 25-30 minutes for regular muffins, 10-15 minutes for minis.

There are plenty of ways to make this recipe your own. You can substitute applesauce (unsweetened) or mashed banana for the pumpkin, use different nuts/seeds/dried fruit, change seasonings around – I used banana extract sometimes to make “banana nut muffins”. Chocolate chips and peanut butter are pretty awesome if you’re not watching your calories too closely!

Nutrition Information based on recipe above, per 1 regular or 2 mini muffins:

Calories 108
Fat 4.5 (.5 Saturated)
Carbs 14.2
Fiber 3.4
Sugar 1.3
Protein 4.7

Love these as an on the go sub for oatmeal! I eat them cold out of the fridge during the week, and freeze extras. This week I’ve been eating thawed muffins and they are still pretty good without re-heating.

Long Time, No "C"

So, obviously I've been MIA from this blog for a long time, but for good reason - I've had nothing to report! August marked my 2 year "cancerversary" and for the most part, I kind of forget about that part of my life. Still go to the doctor for my checkups, and still do my best to avoid the sun and wear sunscreen/hats/rash guards etc, and post the occasional melanoma awareness reminder on Facebook, but otherwise I'm just living my life and trying to be the healthiest me I can be - not just physically, but also mentally and especially spiritually. 

I have wanted to start a health and fitness type of blog, and actually did start one on Tumblr, but I actually liked the format of Blogspot better and decided it would be way easier to just change this blog a little. So I'll re-post the few things I wrote on Tumblr, and maybe I'll actually update this more often, since I have a lot more to say about health and fitness than cancer, although I am sure I still have plenty to say about that too! :)

Merry Christmas and a Happy and Healthy New Year!

I know it's been forever since I blogged, but I really have nothing melanoma related to talk about, which is great! I don't think I even blogged about my last scans/treatment, but it was pretty uneventful - also great. At the end of this week, I have my last round of treatment for the clinical trial, and I'm ready for that chapter of my life to be over with, and I hope I never visit the chemo area again!

I want to take this opportunity to challenge you to be the healthiest you that you can be in 2014. 'Tis the season of starting new diets and making resolutions to work out, and so many times we set ourselves up for failure - then when we fail, we give up completely. I know, because I'm an expert at this; just this weekend I did the "well, I'll re-start on Monday" thing even though Saturday morning I had decided that enough was enough. 

So, while you're making your health related New Year's Resolutions, think about what is actually feasible for you and your schedule, what you can actually live with long term when it comes to your diet, and what your plan will be WHEN you fail and need to re-group, because it's inevitable. Also think about why you want to make changes. Try to find reasons a little deeper than how you look in a bikini, like the way you feel, your overall health, etc. If you diet just to look good on the outside, and don't care about how it affects your inside, you won't succeed, at least not for long, and in the end, your health suffers - including your metabolism, which makes it even more difficult to lose the weight again. God gave you one body, and you may not think it's perfect, you may have not taken the best care of it, but if you have all your necessary limbs and organs, and they all work, you should thank Him for it every day, wrinkles, fat, gray hair and all (even if you don't have all working parts, if you woke up alive this morning, be thankful!). Realize that you can only be the best version of yourself, inside and out, and stop comparing yourself to others. 

So there's my feel good message for 2013 :) Have a safe, happy, and healthy New Year, and remember, just because it's winter doesn't mean you don't need sunscreen when you're outside!

Go Gators

It's Florida-Georgia Weekend! It's one of my favorites events of the year and I'm super excited to spend Saturday tailgating and watching football.....and maybe having a drink or 2..... :) Go Gators!

Next week I start a DietBet and start working on losing 10% of my body weight. It's exactly what I need to motivate me to lose the extra pounds I've been carrying around, and I love that DietBet promotes slow and steady weight loss. I have 5 months to lose 10%, then another month of maintaining that weight loss, which is pretty genius of them because maintaining can be just as difficult as losing. Check out the link (at the beginning of this paragraph) if you're interested in betting on yourself! I'm planning to use this blog as a kind of journal as I go along.

Have a great weekend!

Happy Immunoversary!

I swear I have good intentions when it comes to blogging - I have plenty to say, that's for sure, just not so much time to say it! Anyway, I realized that today is one year since I started immunotherapy and thought I should commemorate that. I only found out the day before or day of which arm of the clinical trial I was randomized into, and I was SO stressed out about it. I didn't want to be a guinea pig for some new medicine (although it helped that it was already approved for use in later staged melanoma patients), and I didn't want to get the old standard of care that would probably make me sick for a year and has a very low success rate. The 3 options were interferon (standard of care), and high or low dose ipilimumab (new drug being compared to interferon). I wanted the high dose because I figured "more = better", and was a little disappointed when I got the low dose. Well, once again I have been reminded that what I want isn't always best for me because a lot of people on the high dose (almost 3x the amount of the low dose) have had complications and had to quit the clinical trial. While I have had 7 of 8 doses and have had no side effects except a little fatigue right after I get a treatment, which I can totally deal with! I've got one more to go and could still have some side effects, but I've made it almost all the way through with little disruption to my life.

Feeling very thankful for this last year, and I'm constantly reminded that God blesses us through the storms in life :)

Whose Fault Is It?

I carry a certain amount of guilt about having melanoma. I assume smokers who get lung cancer feel like they caused it by smoking, and I wonder if I caused my melanoma by being less careful than I should have been in the sun, and using tanning beds. I see a lot of people in "mela-land" blaming their cancer on tanning. In my case, I have family history AND I tanned, so I honestly don't know which one caused it. There are people who have no known history, and no tanning history, so sometimes I think it's just plain bad luck. None of us will ever truly know what factor caused our cancer, or if it was a combination of genetics, environment, and/or luck. I relate melanoma and lung cancer because they both have major links to the choice to smoke or tan, but people with different cancers probably also wonder if they could have done anything to prevent it.

I read a post on Facebook this morning from Aim at Melanoma about a lawsuit between a woman with melanoma and the tanning salon(s) she went to. The jury ruled in favor of the tanning salon, and according to the few comments that were already posted, this made some people angry. It just reminded me that we live in a society of blame shifting. This woman tanned in tanning beds, allegedly after her dermatologist talked to her about the dangers of tanning, and continued tanning even after being diagnosed with melanoma, a day before her excision was planned, and again 3 days before her stitches were going to be removed. And then attempted to sue that tanning salon and several others. You can read the summary here if you want the entire story. Granted, the summary is written from the vantage point of the defendant's attorney, but it seems pretty clear to me that this woman ignored the risks of tanning, like so many of us have, but then wanted someone else to take responsibility. 

In my opinion, we have to take responsibility for ourselves and our actions - as hard as that can be. If someone is negligent and that causes us harm, then yes, they should be held responsible for their part. But I think most of us feel that it's unreasonable to sue cigarette companies over lung cancer, McDonald's over heart disease or coffee burns, or a brewery for a drunk driving accident, and this is no different. And I also think frivolous lawsuits like this one take away from the seriousness of the regulations needed in the tanning industry. A lot of states are working to pass laws to prohibit or restrict minors' use of tanning beds, and I think that's important, way more important than trying to play a blame game.

In related news, I have a half marathon this weekend, which was my choice, and I'm probably going to complain endlessly and maybe sue the race promoters because I'll definitely be in some pain afterwards ;)

Here's to Your Health

Someone was asking me for some health and fitness advice the other day, and suggested that I start a blog related to that. I didn't want to start a whole new blog, but I was thinking that since I fortunately don't have much melanoma related news to share, why not start posting more here about health and fitness related things? Health is connected to cancer prevention anyway.

First off, I am clearly not a doctor or any medical expert, blah blah blah. So don't listen to what I have to say and ignore your doctor's advice or anything silly like that. 

To start off, here are some of my basics for being healthy, whether you want to lose fat, gain muscle, or just maintain your weight and/or live a healthier lifestyle; I'll expand on these basics in later posts:

1. Don't "Go on a Diet". Make lifestyle changes. A "diet" is what you eat, whether it's "good" or "bad".  Make changes you can stick with for life, and include foods that you love, even if they are not the healthiest, and work on finding substitutes, eating smaller portions, or cutting out the really terrible stuff completely. 

2.  Quality and Quantity BOTH matter. You have probably heard of, or been on, "diets" that restrict fat, carbs, or times that you are supposed to eat. Basically, it's calories in/calories out. If you consume more calories than you burn off, you will gain weight. If you consume less, you'll lose weight. However, the quality does matter as well. Your food should be doing something good for you, and candy, cookies and chips don't. A decent rule is that if you can't understand the ingredients on the package, don't eat the food. This website has some really good, detailed rules about eating Real Food.

3. MOVE and Pick Up Heavy Things. Whatever your goals are, we all need to move more. If your current exercise routine consists of getting up from the couch to get more chips, then start off with walking or taking a family bike ride. If you already have a basic fitness level, step it up. When you are comfortable with whatever you're doing, make it uncomfortable again. Lift weights. If you don't know how, and don't have a gym membership or access to a personal trainer, Google is your friend. 

4. Set realistic goals, and find what motivates YOU. Whether you want to lose, gain, or maintain your weight, set goals for yourself. Start small, and set daily, weekly, monthly goals to start out. It doesn't have to be based on that number on the scale, it can be just working out a set number of days/minutes each week, staying within your calorie range, or anything else that you set out to do. Reward yourself with something for each goal you reach - I warn against rewarding yourself with food, you're not a dog! 

5. Realize that you will fail at some point. We aren't perfect, there are going to be weeks that you don't have time to get to the gym or grocery shop, or you just give in to temptation. When that happens, don't beat yourself up, just pick up and move forward - right then, not the next Monday (the national day for starting anything).

<3
Melissa

Cruisin'

Well guys, I am happy to report that I managed to go on a tropical weekend getaway, without getting sunburned or tan! It still feels weird to be happy about not getting a tan, but I was really proud of that. I wore my hats and sunscreen and tried to sit in the shade when I could, and it worked.  I had a great time with my friends, from the time we got into the truck to leave town Friday morning, til the time we got back home on Monday afternoon, it was a blast. Full of laughs, no drama, just a ton of fun. And everyone on that ship knew who we were, partially thanks to the awesome hats we wore:

Our shirts said "Catalina Wine Mixer" because we were 

talking about the movie Stepbrothers and thought

it would be hilarious.....and it was :)

We went to Nassau, Bahamas on Saturday, and Cococay on Sunday, which is a private island owned by the cruise line. In Nassau we just walked down to Senor Frogs for the afternoon, and in Cococay a couple of the girls stayed on the boat while the rest of us hung out on the white sandy beaches:

I also wanna let y'all (all 5 of you who read this.....) know about the lip sunscreen I've discovered. I've always been crazy about making sure I had sunscreen on my lips, because I've always gotten fever blisters if my face/lips get much sun at all. A couple of years ago, my mom got me some Supergoop products. I really don't care for their face sunscreen, I love my Neutrogena, but I LOVE their SPF30 lip balm. Every SPF chapstick I've ever tried has left a weird taste in my mouth (which doesn't go well with tropical drinks!), but Supergoop doesn't. I was a little leery at first because it's kind of shiny and I feel like that will attract sun, but I've been using it all summer and no burned lips or fever blisters! Check it out, and remember, you need sunscreen even in winter!

 And last, but definitely not least, when I got home, I got to meet the newest member of my "family" (not family by blood or marriage, but by choice)! I would like to introduce you guys to Vivian Ann:

Aunt Mel had just come from Spin class :)

This precious little girl was born as I was shipping out to sea, but luckily I got to see some pics and video before I had to turn off my phone. It's impossible not to instantly fall in love with her, and mommy and baby are both very happy and healthy!

Well that's all my news for now, I'm currently at Mayo for blood work but don't expect to hear anything but how great my blood is, as always :)

Update on the Von St. James Family

Well this is a little embarrassing, but I just remembered that Cameron Von St. James from this post sent me a link to a video that his wife Heather did.....over 3 months ago. Sorry Cameron and Heather for taking so long, but here's the link to the video!!

Heather's Video

(I can't embed videos, for whatever reason. Sorry!)

I follow Heather on Facebook and love her positive attitude (and cool hair and tattoos!). Check out her video :)

Btw......I leave for my cruise tomorrow, and my best friend is having her baby tomorrow too! Exciting weekend ahead!

Let's Catch Up

I really want to start blogging more, because I know if I do, the posts will be shorter, and less boring to read, and because I want to start sharing more about the melanoma and cancer community. So we will see!

I follow a lot of melanoma related blogs, and sometimes bloggers share information that inspires me to write my own posts. Recently, Chelsea of Adventures With My Enemy Melanoma (who was one of my biggest inspirations to start my own blog) mentioned Is My Cancer Different, a movement dedicated to educating people about how different cancer can be. Did you know that "cancer" is really just a catch-all, generic term? Cancer is defined as uncontrolled growth of abnormal cells in your body. Because there are many different types of cancer, and even the same cancer can behave differently in different people, everyone's cancer IS different. If you or someone you love has been diagnosed with cancer, go check the website out!

I have always (I like how I used the word always, even though it's been 2 years since my initial diagnosis) felt like "my cancer is different". It started in my skin, not inside my body, the treatment is somewhat different, and I have never felt like I had cancer. People sometimes use the word "sick", and I hate that because I didn't and don't feel sick. I definitely feel out of the ordinary in the waiting room in oncology, and when I had radiation. My doctors and nurses love me because I'm healthy and always happy, when a lot of their patients don't have that good fortune. I haven't gotten nauseous or lost my hair (and certainly not my appetite) or had one side effect from immunotherapy - which is another thing, because my cancer is different, traditional chemotherapy doesn't work as well in most cases. This is both a good and a bad thing, good because I don't have to endure difficult chemo, which kills both good and bad cells, usually makes people sick, etc; bad because it means melanoma is less understood than other types of cancer. 

Some people who have had melanoma caught it earlier, before it spread to their lymph nodes or anywhere else, and it only required surgery to remove the skin around the primary site. Some of these people are very active in melanoma awareness, and I've read stories where they've been hassled a little because basically, their cancer wasn't good enough. Seriously, people out there who are doing what they can to help prevent this terrible cancer from happening to others, have actually been ridiculed because they didn't suffer quite enough? But, read anything on the internet and you will find that there are a lot of hateful people out there with clearly not enough to do! Even within a cancer centered community. 

Whether you were fortunate enough to catch any kind of cancer in the early stages, or at the later stages, whether you had traditional treatment, none at all, are in a clinical trial, or went holistic, your cancer IS different, because you are different. Whether you suffered a little bit or a lot, your cancer matters and you matter. 

In other news.....look what I did last weekend:

I've been wanting to do this for about a year now, and on a whim while at the tattoo/piercing studio with some friends to get our ears pierced, I decided to just go for it. Hurt like nobody's business but was finished very quickly and I love it! I already want a cross on the other foot :)

Next weekend I set sail on a cruise to the Bahamas with a group of girls, so if you hear about a bunch of shenanigans on the high seas, we probably had something to do with it....let's see if I can learn my lessons and avoid sunburns while I'm out there!

Can't Wait!!

Cancerversary Take 2

I wrote about my "Cancerversary" earlier this week, but I neglected to write about one very important thing - how thankful I am for so many people that are in my life! When you go through something difficult, you realize even more how much your loved ones mean to you. I already knew I had awesome family and friends, but the love that was shown to me over the last year has been unbelievable. 

So, to the friends who visited, who offered to drive me to appointments or sit with me during immunotherapy, who brought me food and presents (and braided my hair since I had one arm that was incapacitated!), thank you!! There were people I didn't even know that well that offered their encouragement and favors. Friends of my mom's came to hang out with me after surgery and at doctor appointments, and with her at my surgery. Speaking of that, a ridiculous amount of people came to the surgical center for my surgery. Thinking about the overwhelming support I was given gets me a little emotional. People at work were also really great during that time. I have worked at the same construction company since I was a senior in high school (besides a year and a half long stint as a flight attendant!) and I've worked with a lot of the same guys during that time. Almost every single one of them called, texted, or Facebooked me to see how I was doing while I was out of work. My boss was especially great as well, and he's been really patient with me with all the time I have to take off of work for appointments, scans, immunotherapy, etc. There are only 2 of us in the office so 1 person being gone really makes a difference but my boss and office co-worker never complain about it. 

And of course I want to thank my parents and family. At 35 years old, it's really comforting to know that your parents would still do anything in the world for you. Even though I tell them I'm fine, they still won't let me go to get my scan results without one of them there. After my surgery, when I was home for a week and couldn't drive, they came over every day to check on me and bring me food. I can't even begin to list things they've done to support me, so I'm just going to say THANK YOU to the best mom and dad I could ever ask for. And another big thank you to my brother, sister in law, step-mom and stepsisters who visited, brought me the yummiest food, and offered prayers and words of encouragement and love.   

:)

Cancerversary

I'm in the middle of celebrating my "cancerversary" - the 1 year anniversary of finding out that melanoma had returned and having surgery to remove it, and staying cancer free. I found out on July 26th last year (which happens to be one of my best friends' birthday!) that the cancer had moved on to my lymph nodes, and I had them removed on August 8th. Mid July of this year, I had my routine scans, which came back all clear, so at that point I decided I would go ahead and call it my cancerversary :)

At the same time as my scans, I had my 6th infusion of ipilimumab, and I'm happy to report that I have had no side effects! If I were in a blind trial with a placebo, I would definitely think I was getting the placebo! I have 2 more infusions to go, and I'll be done with that, hopefully never to visit the chemo unit again. I'm not sure how often I'll go for scans at that time, because right now I'm required to have them every 12 weeks at treatment time. I'll do whatever my doctor recommends, but I'm hoping to go a little less frequently by the time I'm finished with the trial; that will be almost a year and a half after my surgery (January 2014 will be my last ipi infusion, if all goes as planned). 

Speaking of my doctor, let me brag on Mayo Clinic a little bit. I read a lot of blogs where melanoma patients go to really great cancer centers of excellence - FYI, if you have melanoma, you definitely want to see a melanoma specialist, that's basically melanoma 101. Something I've noticed about a lot of others' experiences is that they have to wait for hours after their scheduled appointment. I know it's worth it to them to see great doctors at great hospitals, but it's something I'm really grateful to not worry about at Mayo! For certain appointments like blood work and scans, I may have to wait a little while. But when it comes to my oncology appointment, I never have to wait long. This is especially great when I'm waiting for scan results, but it's nice any time. It's the same with my appointments for immunotherapy (the ipilimumab), and the dermatologist. On days where I have an appointment and plan to go to work afterwards, it's good to be able to pretty accurately say when I'll be finished and heading into work. They have really made my scheduling so much easier and I'm really appreciative of that. I highly recommend them. 

So, all my news is pretty good. Unfortunately, there are plenty of others in "mela-land" who don't have such great news. The most heartbreaking is Addison of Addison's Army Against Melanoma, who is only 2 years old and was diagnosed with melanoma at 3 months old - it was passed through the placenta from her mother, who passed away when little Addison was about a year old. Addison has been doing so well, but as of yesterday, her Facebook page was updated to say that she has a brain bleed and there is nothing more that can be done for her. I've never met Addison or her family, never spoken to them, but my heart is so heavy for all of them. I suppose the blessing is that for Addison, she does not comprehend what is happening, but I cannot imagine how gut-wrenching this is for her family, who have already endured the loss of her young mother (Addison's mother, Briana, was only 33 when she passed away). Certain stories touch my heart more than others, and this is one of them. Please visit their website or their Facebook page to learn more about this family.

Addison is one person, although one extra special case, but there are others who are finding out they have new tumors, that their treatment isn't working, that their insurance won't cover the drugs they need, and the list goes on and on and on. Some of these people have melanoma in their genes (like me), some of these people have melanoma caused by too much sun exposure (probably also me), and some of them don't have any obvious reason to have gotten melanoma. We're closing in on the end of summer (although in Florida, our summer goes well into the fall), but there's still time to practice sun safety. I used to hate to hear this sentence, and I still do, but the truth is, THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A "SAFE" TAN. (unless it comes from a bottle, and even then there's issues with chemicals, breathing in sprays, etc, but it's definitely better than the sun!). I don't think we should hide from the sun, everyone who knows me knows I love a Sunday Funday out by the pool, but you can wear hats, UV protective clothing (which I think is great for kids to cut down on the amount of sunscreen application they have to endure), and of course, sunscreen. Lots of high SPF sunscreen, applied every 2 hours or so. If your skin gets tanned, it is damaged. If it gets burned, it's REALLY damaged. Please, protect the skin you're in, and protect your kids' skin too. A few sunburns doubles your chances of getting melanoma. And if you're a woman, and have babies in your future, it could not only be your health in question, but your baby's as well. 

Of course, you can't guarantee that you won't get melanoma or other skin cancers just by being safe in the sun, so the really important part is to visit your dermatologist for a full body skin check once a year, and keep an eye on your freckles and moles, watching for changes and immediately have any suspicious spots biopsied (with a punch biopsy, no shaves!) and sent to pathology. I can't even stress how important that is, so many doctors have dismissed a funky mole, only later to find out it was skin cancer. If it bugs you, get rid of it. If your doctor won't listen, find a new one. 

Alright people, I've rambled on long enough! Thank you for reading this far :)

Yay

One of my proudest accomplishments before Battle #2 with melanoma was that I could do almost 10 dead hang pull ups. I know that might seem silly, but physical strength does not come naturally to me (nor does coordination or speed) and for years I've worked really hard to become stronger. After having my lymph nodes under my left arm removed, pull ups seemed impossible. Then after radiation cooked and burned everything left under there, my range of motion is shot, along with my strength. It's been frustrating to start all over with certain exercises, but it's been coming along. Yesterday I decided to see if I could even hang from a bar - I can't raise my hand straight up, so I wasn't sure. Sure enough, I could do that, so I tried to do a negative pull up, where you jump up to the top of a pull up (chin near the bar) and then lower yourself down slowly, to build up strength to be able to pull yourself up. The last time I tried a negative, I couldn't hold myself up at all. This time, I had a lot more control and I did much better. It was a very happy milestone for me. 

Ever since I've gotten into fitness, I've noticed how working out, and the accomplishments that go along with it, transition into the rest of life. When you lift weights, you are tearing up your muscle fibers, and when they repair, they grow back stronger and bigger (if you're a woman, don't take that to mean that you'll get body builder big from lifting weights - there are exceptions, but you won't!). When life throws things at us, we might be torn down for a little bit, but then we come back stronger than before. In fitness, you don't know how strong you are until you're pushed to your limits. When you think you can't run a mile, or lift a certain amount of weight, and then you do, it's an amazing feeling and you feel like you can accomplish anything at that point. In life, when you feel like you just can't take any more sadness or heartache, but you do and you deal with it and you move forward, you realize that you can handle ANYTHING. One of my favorite bible verses is Philippians 4:13: "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me". True Story! Whatever obstacles you're facing in life - physical, emotional, mental, spiritual - you CAN overcome them.  Sure, we have limits. I'm not going to stand on top of the roof and jump off, thinking I'll be able to fly. But we have the ability to do so much more than we think. Physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. 

My little mini accomplishment in the gym yesterday was a reminder of how strong and resilient I really am. I haven't been through a fraction of what so many others have had to go through, but I've been through enough to know that I can handle whatever may come along. And, wherever you are, so can you. Sometimes it takes making a choice to not let the hardships define you, and it always takes some time, but you CAN and if you want to, WILL heal from anything that tears you down. Let go of your bitterness and sadness, and choose to learn and grow from the bad stuff! 

Borrowed from Chasing a Miracle

End of Melanoma Month

Today is the last day of melanoma month, and at some point I'll recap the facts etc that I shared throughout the month on Facebook. 

I'm at Mayo Clinic for a routine blood work checkup and I'm just reminded once again of how very blessed I am. First of all, the guy who drew blood is a pro! I've gotten used to being stuck, but I didn't even feel it this time! I have to wait a couple hours after having blood drawn before I see the NP Gena (who I adore!!), and usually I make myself comfortable in a recliner in the quiet section of the oncology waiting room. There are so many people in here that are so sick and obviously going through serious treatment and I am so fortunate to feel so good! A volunteer usually comes around to see if anyone needs pillows or blankets (Mayo is awesome) and it's pretty chilly and I'm dressed for summer so I asked for a blanket today. She commented on how much she loved my nail polish (Tiffany blue, thanks to my friend Melanie for giving it to me!) and covered me with the blanket and we talked for a few minutes and she left. It was nothing major but she was just so sweet and I love these random encounters I have with people here, I have at least one nice conversation with a stranger every time I'm here, no lie. 

Mayo Clinic shared another video by my oncologist! Here's the link: http://youtu.be/lcp65g892qs (for whatever reason, I can't embed videos in the blog). This one is about new melanoma therapies, one of which I am getting through a clinical trial. 

As melanoma month ends, I am reminded that melanoma awareness never ends for me and so many others. I encourage you to protect your skin, and go get it checked every year. I know it doesn't seem like a big deal to most people, but every day I read a story of someone going through difficult treatments, worrying about insurance claims and bills, or running out of options and planning for hospice. The caregivers and loved ones are heartbroken and it reminds me that our choices don't just affect us. So slather on the SPF and visit your dermatologist! 

Overview of Melanoma

Mayo Clinic shared a video on Facebook today by my oncologist, Dr. Joseph! It's pretty basic but informative about the stages of melanoma. Here's a link to the video:

The 4 Stages of Melanoma


I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I am SO thankful to be able to go to Mayo Clinic! Dr J, my clinical trial nurse Ann, and my NP Gena are all so wonderful and caring and supportive. I couldn't ask for a better medical team, and I am so lucky to have them 30 minutes away. So many people have to travel to get to a good cancer center and I'm glad that's one less thing I have to worry about! 

Have a great week, and don't forget to protect your skin, and watch those freckles and moles for changes - and if you see any, get to the dermatologist stat! :)

Don't Fry Day!

Well, so much for blogging more often for Melanoma Month right? I've gotten a little lazy with my posts on Facebook as well, it's hard to remember to post every day! 

Today, the Friday before Memorial Day, is designated "No Fry Day"by the National Council on Skin Cancer Prevention. For most of us, Memorial Weekend is the official beginning of summer and many of us spend a lot of it in the sun, ending up sunburned. You know the rules: use sunscreen (and reapply every 2 hours!) and/or UV protective clothing, try to sit in the shade when you can, and be extra careful when around water, sand and snow - hopefully none of you are in snow, but with the crazy weather lately, who knows?? Just remember that tans and burns are damage to your skin, and you could pay dearly for that damage later on. 

Also remember this weekend that it's not about the beginning of summer, or a 3 day weekend, it's about honoring those who have lost their lives fighting for our country. It's hard to know what to say about that because I cannot even begin to imagine sacrificing my life - my literal "life", or my life as I know it, where I have A/C in the house and work for 8 hours then go home, where I can see my friends and family pretty much anytime I want, where I can hop in my Jeep and go grab a hamburger and fries whenever I'm hungry - all these things that I take for granted, a soldier and his or her family are going without. All I really know is, these men and women work way too hard for way too little compensation! They give up their time and talents and families and are willing to give up their lives if necessary, and they all deserve our respect and admiration. 

So have a happy and safe (and sunburn free!) Memorial Day Weekend, and be thankful for those who sacrifice for our freedom! 

Melanoma Month - Week 1

We're one week into Skin Cancer Awareness Month, which I have just renamed "Melanoma Month"! Every day on Facebook and sometimes Instagram, I've been posting facts about skin cancer and melanoma. I'm already wondering if people are tired of it, but then I remember that if I can read people's drama, complaints, boring details of their day, not to mention all the selfies and duck face pics, they can read my skin cancer facts - at least these could be life saving!

In case you missed it, here are my first 7 days of tips/facts about skin cancer/melanoma:

Day 1 - Melanoma can start anywhere, not just on your skin, and not just skin that sees the sun! It can start under your fingernails, in your eyes, in your mouth, and other orifices - there are melanoma survivors who never found their primary site. So in addition to checking your skin for suspicious moles, check fingernails for spots that don't grow with the nail, check the whites of your eyes for spots, and ask your dentist, optometrist, and OB/GYN to check for moles/spots etc. during your routine checkups.  

Day 2 - Darker skinned people can also get skin cancer, Bob Marley being the most famous example. It most often occurs on non exposed skin, under fingernails, or in mucous membranes. So check those areas and visit your dermatologist even if you are not pale and covered in freckles and moles!

*Bonus for Day 2 - I was at the hair salon and thought I'd remind everyone to have their hair stylist check for moles or spots on their scalp. My first dermatologist said that it's easier to check when they're washing your hair than having someone check your scalp when your hair is dry. 

Day 3 - There are many risk factors for melanoma and other skin cancers, and it's not just excessive tanning or burning. UV Radiation is a factor of course, but so is: 

Pale skin and/or light colored hair

Exposure to coal tar, pitch, creosote, arsenic compounds or radium

Family history of skin cancer

Multiple freckles/moles

Also, having one type of skin cancer (BCC, SCC, melanoma) can increase your risk for another type. (This information came from the American Cancer Society, through the Melanoma Prayer Center)

Day 4 - I shared another picture from the Melanoma Prayer Center showing how melanoma doesn't always look like a funky mole. It can look like a rash or burn - but it will grow instead of heal. I encourage you to Google pictures of what melanoma looks like, but probably not during lunch, because while a funky mole isn't that bad, advanced melanoma can be pretty horrific. 

I also shared that using tanning beds before the age of 35 increases your chances of melanoma by 75%!! That's especially scary because so many people tan, and when I was younger, it seems like all of my friends tanned in tanning beds at one time or another. This info is from skincancer.org. I know that plenty of people will continue to tan, despite the risks, so if you do, PLEASE get your skin checked by a dermatologist twice a year, and remember that a sunburn from a tanning bed is no safer than a sunburn from the sun! 

If I had at least went to the dermatologist sooner, maybe I wouldn't be visiting Mayo Clinic every 3-6-12 weeks, getting scans, bloodwork, and drug infusions. Maybe I'd still be able to do pull ups and plyo push ups and my range of motion wouldn't be completely screwed up from lymph node removal and radiation therapy. Just sayin!

Day 5 - Melanoma is not an "old people" disease. Melanoma has seen a huge increase in teenagers 15-19. I've talked about Jillian Hayes many times, she passed away at 23 years old from this disease. That is far too young! I know teenagers (and in my case, people in their 30's) think nothing bad can ever happen to them, but it's not true. We can't prevent bad things from happening, but we can try, and melanoma can be preventable!

Day 6 - Melanoma is one of the 3 types of cancer that can be passed to a child during pregnancy. Can you imagine how difficult that must be for an expectant mother?? It's yet another reminder that what we do affects more than just ourselves. Visit Addison's Army to learn more about melanoma's youngest warrior. 

Day 7 - Getting sunburned can DOUBLE your chances of melanoma! One blistering burn at a young age, or 5 sunburns at any age doubles your risk. Who has never been sunburned?! Growing up in Florida, I think it's almost a requirement, it's definitely normal. But we need to change that. Wear sunscreen and/or UV protective clothing, and avoid the sun when possible between 10am - 4pm. Stop letting yourself get burned, and protect your kids in the sun!

So, that's week 1! Love the skin you're in!