So, I'd like to introduce you to Cameron!
A Husband's Reflections on His Wife's Cancer Diagnosis
November 21, 2005 is a day never to be forgotten in my family. It’s the day my wife was diagnosed with cancer, malignant pleural mesothelioma, and I became her caregiver. The timing of her diagnosis could not have been more devastating. Just three months before Heather’s mesothelioma diagnosis, we celebrated the birth of our first and only child, our daughter Lily. We had been eagerly anticipating her first Christmas and the memories we would make as a new family. However, the diagnosis changed all those plans in an instant.
The implications of caring for someone diagnosed with cancer became apparent while we were still in the physician's office. We were told that we needed to go elsewhere for treatment, with three options that included the local university hospital, a regional hospital without a Mesothelioma program, or a Mesothelioma specialist in Boston named Dr. David Sugarbaker. My wife was silent in disbelief. I knew that she was shocked and needed help, so I told the doctor that we would see the specialist in Boston. This would be the first of many difficult decisions we would be asked to make over the coming months.
Our daily routines disappeared after that. Heather had to quit working and I had to scale back to part-time in order to care for Heather and Lily. Traveling to appointments and caring for Lily caused me to feel overwhelmed. I feared my wife would die and my child and I would be bankrupt and alone. These thoughts filled me with fear and dread, and more than once I cried and wished it would all disappear. However, I never let Heather see me in these moments of weakness. I always did my best to remain strong in front of her.
Family, friends and complete strangers helped us with everything from comforting words to money, reminding us we were not alone. We are thankful to each and every person who reached out to us in our time of need. One thing I learned, and the strongest piece of advice I can offer to others in a fight with cancer, is that if someone offers help, accept it. There is no room for pride or stubbornness when a loved one’s life is on the line. Even the smallest bit of help can be a weight off your shoulders, and will remind you that you are not alone in the fight.
Caring for someone with cancer is difficult. Stress, uncertainty and chaos test you daily. Strong emotions such as fear and anger surface. You will have bad days, this is inevitable and you have to accept that, but you can never give up hope. Always hold on to hope, and use every resource at hand to get yourself through. Heather went through surgery, radiation and chemotherapy fighting mesothelioma, and against all odds, she managed to beat it. Seven years later she is still cancer-free.
I used my stubbornness to my advantage and learned that time is precious. Two years after Heather's diagnosis, while working fulltime and caring for her and 2-year-old Lily, I returned to school fulltime to study Information Technology. I graduated at the top of my class and much to my honor, was the speaker of my class. I remember my graduation speech well. I told my fellow graduates to never give up hope and realize that within each of us is someone capable of accomplishing anything, as long as we believe in ourselves. Heather and Lily were in the audience to cheer me on, and that was the greatest reward of all.
November 21, 2005 is a day never to be forgotten in my family. It’s the day my wife was diagnosed with cancer, malignant pleural mesothelioma, and I became her caregiver. The timing of her diagnosis could not have been more devastating. Just three months before Heather’s mesothelioma diagnosis, we celebrated the birth of our first and only child, our daughter Lily. We had been eagerly anticipating her first Christmas and the memories we would make as a new family. However, the diagnosis changed all those plans in an instant.
The implications of caring for someone diagnosed with cancer became apparent while we were still in the physician's office. We were told that we needed to go elsewhere for treatment, with three options that included the local university hospital, a regional hospital without a Mesothelioma program, or a Mesothelioma specialist in Boston named Dr. David Sugarbaker. My wife was silent in disbelief. I knew that she was shocked and needed help, so I told the doctor that we would see the specialist in Boston. This would be the first of many difficult decisions we would be asked to make over the coming months.
Our daily routines disappeared after that. Heather had to quit working and I had to scale back to part-time in order to care for Heather and Lily. Traveling to appointments and caring for Lily caused me to feel overwhelmed. I feared my wife would die and my child and I would be bankrupt and alone. These thoughts filled me with fear and dread, and more than once I cried and wished it would all disappear. However, I never let Heather see me in these moments of weakness. I always did my best to remain strong in front of her.
Family, friends and complete strangers helped us with everything from comforting words to money, reminding us we were not alone. We are thankful to each and every person who reached out to us in our time of need. One thing I learned, and the strongest piece of advice I can offer to others in a fight with cancer, is that if someone offers help, accept it. There is no room for pride or stubbornness when a loved one’s life is on the line. Even the smallest bit of help can be a weight off your shoulders, and will remind you that you are not alone in the fight.
Caring for someone with cancer is difficult. Stress, uncertainty and chaos test you daily. Strong emotions such as fear and anger surface. You will have bad days, this is inevitable and you have to accept that, but you can never give up hope. Always hold on to hope, and use every resource at hand to get yourself through. Heather went through surgery, radiation and chemotherapy fighting mesothelioma, and against all odds, she managed to beat it. Seven years later she is still cancer-free.
I used my stubbornness to my advantage and learned that time is precious. Two years after Heather's diagnosis, while working fulltime and caring for her and 2-year-old Lily, I returned to school fulltime to study Information Technology. I graduated at the top of my class and much to my honor, was the speaker of my class. I remember my graduation speech well. I told my fellow graduates to never give up hope and realize that within each of us is someone capable of accomplishing anything, as long as we believe in ourselves. Heather and Lily were in the audience to cheer me on, and that was the greatest reward of all.
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Thanks to Cameron for sharing his family's story! You can "like" Heather's page on Facebook here: https://www.facebook.com/HeatherVonStJames?fref=ts and visit the mesothelioma blog that Cameron and Heather contribute to here: http://www.mesothelioma.com/blog/authors/cameron/
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