I Am A Child of God

If anyone is paying attention, obviously I have not been posting for a while. But as I'm coming up on my 3 year cancerversary, there's a lot on my mind and I remembered that I have a place to get these thoughts out :)

I really love worship music. A lot of songs are straight out of the bible, so it's like an easy way to remember God's love and promises. If you grew up in church, maybe you memorized scriptures in Sunday School, and maybe you still memorize them. Of course I think it's a great thing to hide God's word in our hearts, but sometimes I get bogged down in trying to remember a verse word for word, when really it's the meaning behind the verse that matters. The best example of this is Philippians 4:6-7. This is one of my favorites, but for the life of me, I can never remember it word for word. But I don't really have to, because I can remember the meaning behind it: Don't worry about anything, but instead pray to God with a thankful heart and God will give you a peace that passes all understanding.

Anyway, back to my point for today. I am really thankful for my church for many many reasons, but one of the reasons is learning new worship songs. (My last post was actually about another song I learned there). A new favorite is No Longer Slaves. The chorus goes, "I'm no longer a slave to fear, I am a child of God", and sometimes I literally just repeat that phrase over and over again to myself, hoping that I will actually live it out. Today I have seen several different scriptures and devotions related to fear (on Facebook of all things, so social media actually does have a positive side to it, depending on who you friend/follow!), and I feel like God is trying to tell me something. I think most of us live in fear to some degree, myself included. After all, there are so many things out there to fear: financial failure, health problems, losing those we love, not being good enough, terrorism, running into an ex when we look awful, divorce, having or not having children, and the list goes on and on, big and small, petty and serious, there is so much to fear. 

But we don't have to be slaves to fear if we are children of God. It doesn't mean the fear won't be there, it just means we aren't slaves to it. We don't let it run our lives, we don't make decisions out of fear. We look it in the face and tell our fears how big our God is and we look to Him to lead and guide us. 

I don't know what it's called when a song has something different at the end that's not another verse or the chorus, according to Google it may be a bridge or a coda, but I'm going to hope you know what I mean. A lot of worship songs do this, and at the end of No Longer Slaves, there's a bridge/coda/whatever that goes, "You split the sea so I could walk right through it, my fears are drowned in perfect love; You rescued me and I will stand and sing, I am a child of God". I was listening to this song for maybe the 100th or so time the other night, when I really thought about those words. Maybe God doesn't literally split seas these days, so we can walk through on dry ground. But how many times has He metaphorically split the sea for us? Removed obstacles just when we need it, and allowed us to walk right through a tough situation? How many times have we been facing something we know we can't handle, and come through the other side stronger than ever? God still works miracles in 2015, just like He did for Moses. He still splits the sea so we can walk right through it, and if we give our fears to Him, He will drown them in perfect love. 

We truly are no longer slaves to fear if we will put our faith and trust in Him.

Not For A Moment

I've recently learned a new song in church called Not for a Moment, and after hearing it for the second time, decided to buy it. I have fallen in love with the song, especially the line "Not for a moment did You forsake me". It humbles me to know that my God will never leave me or forsake me, no matter what. When things are good or bad, when I wander away, He is ALWAYS there. 

Today (Oct 30th) marks 2 years since I started immunotherapy, predictive text just reminded me it's called my immunoversary :). I've been thinking about it a lot today and every time I do, I'm just overwhelmed with a feeling of gratefulness that 2 years later, I'm, well, Healthy, Fit and Cancerfree as my blog title now reads! And I know that not for moment did my Savior forsake me, He was with me through all of it, and everything else I've ever been through. All I had to do was call on Him. 

Obviously I'm extremely happy with the outcome I've had so far, but I have the comfort of knowing that my God will be with me no matter what, and whatever life brings me, I can and will overcome anything. Knowing that helps me to stop stressing over what could be and enjoy what I have now. It is an amazing feeling to know that the Creator of the universe loves me even when I'm not lovable, forgives me even though I don't deserve it, and gives me super human strength right when I need it. 

And Not For A Moment, will He forsake me. 

Marine Corps Half Marathon

I have a bad habit of running in races without being prepared for them. Like 2 years ago when I ran the Marine Corps Half Marathon after having surgery 2 months beforehand, and then starting radiation, so I hadn't been able to run except for the week before. This past weekend was one of those times. Fortunately, my lack of training wasn't due to surgery or anything like that, but I've had some issues with my IT band on my right side, and after running 5-6 miles, I had a bad pain from my right hip to my knee. I've rolled on the foam roller and stretched it, but the only way to know if it was better was to run long distance. My friends and I were running this race in memory of our friend who passed away earlier this year, so I felt like I really needed to do it if I was able to at all. So, I figured the worst that could happen is that I would have to walk a lot more than I wanted to, and I spent the week carbing up, and drinking lots of water, and went for it. It ended up being one of my better runs! One of my friends stayed with me for the first 6-7 miles, and that really helped, but she got a little faster and I got a little slower. Still, the miles seemed to fly by, and before I knew it I was done! My average pace was just under a 12 minute mile, which is slow but better than I expected. I think being very prepared as far as my diet and hydration really helped. 

Overall it was a great day with great weather and after the race we went to my friend's house for a cookout and to celebrate the life of Kevin Rayburn, who will always be missed by those who knew him. He was not one to let life pass him by, and was always up to something fun, whether working out, running distance runs or obstacle courses, camping, watching Nascar races, or just hanging out with friends. He always had a smile on his face and was an all around great guy, who loved his wife dearly and had a great group of family and friends. Remember that none of us are guaranteed tomorrow, so appreciate those you love today!

Clockwise from top left: My friend Paulette and I at the finish; 

a view of the river from mile 11.5; one of the tanks leaving the race site; 

finisher's medal; tanks and their police escorts - it slowed down my ride home, 

but was really cool!; the evil ramp at mile 11 - and I liked that guy's shirt, ours last year 

said something similar; our muddy shoes from the muddy finish line - I always sprint in to finish a race 

and couldn't this time - I was mad! :)

Back of the shirts Kevin's wife had custom made for us

Pumpkin Oatmeal Muffins

First of all, I know I need lessons on food photography - sorry! But I love these oatmeal muffins and wanted to share the recipe, especially since they are a great make-ahead snack, and can be frozen for later. I adapted my recipe from Sugar Free Mom (she has all kinds of variations, and is a way better food photographer :) ). The recipe is so easily adaptable depending on your personal tastes and what you have on hand. Here is the recipe that I go with most often:

2 1/2 c. oats
1/4 c. ground flax seed
2-4 packets of Stevia (or whatever sweetener you’d like to use)
¾ tsp cinnamon
¾ tsp nutmeg
½ tsp ground cloves
1 ½ tsp baking powder
½ tsp salt
1 c. canned pumpkin
1 c. milk (I use unsweetened vanilla almond milk, which has greatly improved my diet life!)
1 tsp vanilla extract
2 oz pumpkin seeds

Splenda Brown Sugar for sprinkling on top before baking (optional)

I mix together all dry ingredients (except pumpkin seeds), then add wet ingredients and stir together until blended, and then stir in pumpkin seeds.

Makes 12 regular size muffins, or 24 mini muffins. Bake at 350 for 25-30 minutes for regular muffins, 10-15 minutes for minis.

There are plenty of ways to make this recipe your own. You can substitute applesauce (unsweetened) or mashed banana for the pumpkin, use different nuts/seeds/dried fruit, change seasonings around – I used banana extract sometimes to make “banana nut muffins”. Chocolate chips and peanut butter are pretty awesome if you’re not watching your calories too closely!

Nutrition Information based on recipe above, per 1 regular or 2 mini muffins:

Calories 108
Fat 4.5 (.5 Saturated)
Carbs 14.2
Fiber 3.4
Sugar 1.3
Protein 4.7

Love these as an on the go sub for oatmeal! I eat them cold out of the fridge during the week, and freeze extras. This week I’ve been eating thawed muffins and they are still pretty good without re-heating.

Long Time, No "C"

So, obviously I've been MIA from this blog for a long time, but for good reason - I've had nothing to report! August marked my 2 year "cancerversary" and for the most part, I kind of forget about that part of my life. Still go to the doctor for my checkups, and still do my best to avoid the sun and wear sunscreen/hats/rash guards etc, and post the occasional melanoma awareness reminder on Facebook, but otherwise I'm just living my life and trying to be the healthiest me I can be - not just physically, but also mentally and especially spiritually. 

I have wanted to start a health and fitness type of blog, and actually did start one on Tumblr, but I actually liked the format of Blogspot better and decided it would be way easier to just change this blog a little. So I'll re-post the few things I wrote on Tumblr, and maybe I'll actually update this more often, since I have a lot more to say about health and fitness than cancer, although I am sure I still have plenty to say about that too! :)

Merry Christmas and a Happy and Healthy New Year!

I know it's been forever since I blogged, but I really have nothing melanoma related to talk about, which is great! I don't think I even blogged about my last scans/treatment, but it was pretty uneventful - also great. At the end of this week, I have my last round of treatment for the clinical trial, and I'm ready for that chapter of my life to be over with, and I hope I never visit the chemo area again!

I want to take this opportunity to challenge you to be the healthiest you that you can be in 2014. 'Tis the season of starting new diets and making resolutions to work out, and so many times we set ourselves up for failure - then when we fail, we give up completely. I know, because I'm an expert at this; just this weekend I did the "well, I'll re-start on Monday" thing even though Saturday morning I had decided that enough was enough. 

So, while you're making your health related New Year's Resolutions, think about what is actually feasible for you and your schedule, what you can actually live with long term when it comes to your diet, and what your plan will be WHEN you fail and need to re-group, because it's inevitable. Also think about why you want to make changes. Try to find reasons a little deeper than how you look in a bikini, like the way you feel, your overall health, etc. If you diet just to look good on the outside, and don't care about how it affects your inside, you won't succeed, at least not for long, and in the end, your health suffers - including your metabolism, which makes it even more difficult to lose the weight again. God gave you one body, and you may not think it's perfect, you may have not taken the best care of it, but if you have all your necessary limbs and organs, and they all work, you should thank Him for it every day, wrinkles, fat, gray hair and all (even if you don't have all working parts, if you woke up alive this morning, be thankful!). Realize that you can only be the best version of yourself, inside and out, and stop comparing yourself to others. 

So there's my feel good message for 2013 :) Have a safe, happy, and healthy New Year, and remember, just because it's winter doesn't mean you don't need sunscreen when you're outside!

Go Gators

It's Florida-Georgia Weekend! It's one of my favorites events of the year and I'm super excited to spend Saturday tailgating and watching football.....and maybe having a drink or 2..... :) Go Gators!

Next week I start a DietBet and start working on losing 10% of my body weight. It's exactly what I need to motivate me to lose the extra pounds I've been carrying around, and I love that DietBet promotes slow and steady weight loss. I have 5 months to lose 10%, then another month of maintaining that weight loss, which is pretty genius of them because maintaining can be just as difficult as losing. Check out the link (at the beginning of this paragraph) if you're interested in betting on yourself! I'm planning to use this blog as a kind of journal as I go along.

Have a great weekend!